lixie’s dinner

I went to the city today, for a reason that I do not have the liberty to say. I walked along Salzach and my brain played the song “It Might Be You” by Stephen Bishop, while thinking about a particular person. However, my mind was haunted by fear, problems and worries about everything related to the future, but I was happier this time, because, although I was obsessed with negative thoughts, my brain did not force me to be compulsive. The kind of behavior that usually makes me do repetitive things, like the need to do anything symmetrically.

That is a perfect match. I am obsessed with a “perfect” and “exact” life, and my compulsive behavior is the need for symmetry and total order around me. Yet, whatever happened today, the thought about the particular person, canceled out my compulsive behavior, even though my mind was preoccupied with negative feelings and thoughts about things that will not run perfectly. Somehow, I thought that everything will be perfect, if I am with her. We never know.

I have been asking myself, why I should go back to the city, Salzburg, but this is the destiny that I must follow. A year ago, I thought I would be happy if I lived here, but everything is totally the opposite now. To some degree, I am happy being in Salzburg, because I get to know some people and a particular person, with whom I can share my “craziness.” However, there is bitterness being in the city. Some of the locals are intricate and are not easy to predict. These are the kinds of behavior that will surprise you out of the blue.

I wish I could care less about this, but I become uncomfortable whenever I go to the city. It is difficult for me to look at them, the locals, in the eyes, because they may think I am suspicious or malicious, while I actually want to be friendly without having to smile and say, “Hi! I am a nice person. You can trust me and would you like to be my friend?” They are actually smiley, but, some of them have the kind of smile that are, sorry to say, insincere and cold. This is not good for me, because they make me lose the equilibrium in my brain. They add the imperfection, which causes negative “obsessions” in my gray matter, and my sanity will always be preoccupied with anything symmetrical as a “catharsis.”

I have to end this but the particular person has helped me in overcoming my compulsive behavior whenever my brain is busy with obsessive thoughts or impulses.

I am just wondering if she will be the sun that will shine my life eternally or the rainbow with its beautiful colors that will stay in my life only for a while. Maybe I am too quick to decide. All I need is time.

To what extent can you love a person?

It never makes me stop to wonder that a person, who preaches, “Love your neighbor,” is actually a hateful person. Or, maybe he means, “Love your neighbor, as long as he is from the same faith”? That just doesn’t make sense.

Probably, most of you know televangelist Rod Parsley, a key McCain ally in Ohio. What did he say recently? In his book called “Silent No More,” he wants to destroy Islam, because it’s a “false religion.” Further, he calls for a new crusade. As he claims it, Islam is the new enemy of the world’s civilization. Hmm, if he preaches “Love your neighbor,” how come does he call for a war? Is war part of “love” that he preaches?

It still doesn’t make sense. You don’t wage war on people who don’t attack you. Moreover, if he preaches, “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also,” isn’t what he wants (to do) the total opposite of what he preaches? Waging a war on people who don’t attack you. Oh, now he’s talking about 911. He reasons that after 911, more and more people are turning to Islam, because Muslims spread their religion through violence. That’s just silly. Those people, who claim to be Muslims and bomb the WTC, are NOT Muslims. Besides, Prophet Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam NEVER spread Islam with the sword.

To make it clear, Allah said in the Qur’an, La ikraha fid deen, “There is no compulsion in religion” (Al-Baqarah 256). In addition, Allah addressed the Prophet in a different Surah, Fain tawallaw fainnama ‘alaykal balaghul mubeen, “But if they turn away from you, (O Prophet remember that) your only duty is a clear delivery of the Message (entrusted to you)” (An-Nahl 82). We Muslims are obligated to make da’wah, meaning inviting people to Islam. Regarding this issue, Allah said in Surah An-Nahl, Od’u ila sabeeli rabbika bialhikmati waalmaw’ithati alhasanat, “Invite to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better” (125). Does it say anything about violence?

Back to Parsley. I wonder where he gets the idea that Islam is spread through violence. I dare say it. Those who condone violence are people who do not have religion; however, as far as I know, people who don’t believe in God do not condone violence. So, it is ironic that a person, who believes in God and preaches love, teaches and condones violence toward others.

If a person who preaches “Love your neighbor” spread hate (Instead of love), I call that person a hypocrite, because what he preaches is NOT a reflection of his behavior. We have to save ourselves from this (hypocrisy)!

In the Islamic tradition, we call it munāfiq. There may not be any difference in meaning, but Prophet Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said that the munāfiqūn have the following characters:
1. Whenever he is entrusted, he betrays.
2. Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie.
3. Whenever he makes a covenant, he proves treacherous.
4. Whenever he quarrels, he behaves in a very imprudent, evil and insulting manner (Bukhari & Muslim).
It is obvious, that the person we are talking about (Parsley) possesses one of these characters.

I am not attacking his faith but his personality, because, as I believe, whatever he says about Islam in his book, does not come from the Bible. Why would a person preach something that is not in the Book?